Donations to Clarity
By Noah Baird
Noah Baird is touring in November & December 2011 with his humor book, Donations to Clarity!
About The Book:
The plan was simple: hoax bigfoot, then sell tours to bigfoot enthusiasts. The plan wasn’t brilliant, and neither were Harry, Earl, and Patch. The three chemical-abusing friends only wanted to avoid the 9 to 5 rat race, but their antics attract the attention of a real bigfoot. When the misogynistic Earl is mistaken for a female bigfoot by the nearsighted creature and captured; it is just the beginning of their problems.
The U.S. Government has a plan to naturalize the mythical creatures living within the U.S. borders. The problem is the plan needs to be carried out carefully. You can’t just drop little green men and Sasquatch in the middle of Walmart without warning Ma and Pa Taxpayer. The naturalization program is not ready to be set into motion, and the rogue bigfoot is bringing too much attention to itself, including a feisty investigative reporter who uncovers the truth of the government conspiracy and two bigfoot researchers. No longer able to contain the situation, government agents are tasked with eliminating the bigfoot and all witnesses.
Between bong hits and water balloon fights, Harry and Patch come up with a plan to save Earl and the lovestruck bigfoot. Where do you hide a giant, mythical creature? In an insane asylum, because who is going to listen to them?
Along the way, the three friends learn Star Wars was a government training film for children, the truth behind Elvis meeting President Nixon, and the significance of the weight of the human turd.
You can visit his website at www.noahbaird.com.
Review by Lynda:
Hilariously irreverent and enlightening! Imagine putting together the most disparate topics, revealing their insanity, cloaking them in a somewhat believable absurdity, then observing what happens. This book is insanely funny throughout the entire reading. To be sure, the humor is probably better appreciated by the males of our species, but even the ladies will chuckle behind their well manicured hands at what the so-called stronger of the two sexes get up too in this story. Great quips centered around musical lyrics, imaginative descriptions, and a twisty plot will keep you reading. I'm not sure I'd want to meet the author in person because after reading this book, I suspect he's an escapee of some state mental hospital with alien connections. LOL- NOT REALLY - I'd love to meet Mr. Baird.